A Gift In Disguise

Have you ever got back home after a LONG day and started searching frantically for that note? What note? Well, the note that was next to your bed when you woke up but forgot to read. It said,

                    Dear Michelle,

                    Here’s a Wednesday from hell.


                    Hell’s Apprentice


You know that note right? Then when you don’t find it you end up going down on your knees asking God why. Why there was no memo, no warning letter that said,


                    Dear Michelle,

                    Today will suck big time so to avoid any (almost irreversible) damage just                       stay home!


                    Good Samaritan!


Would that help? Oh well…I guess that won’t happen anyway? The thought of escaping the trials we go through simply makes us cowards. Cowards too scared to leave their cocoon of safety that can so easily be destroyed. 

With every day that comes, there will be some accompaniments that we honestly didnt ask for. Accompaniments such as traffic, sickness, heartbreak an argument,… Ofcourse there are those accompaniments that you might have or might not have asked for but are more than willing to accept….laughter, a much needed hug, a job you’ve always wanted, a raise, praise… Most of these are a matter of choice….wake up early beat the traffic, eat healthy stay away from getting sick or even if sick stay strong and happy because you’re still alive!  So what happens when the day comes along with an accompaniment known as death. The one thing that you can never be prepared for, takes all of your attention, and attempts to drain you of everything.

I woke up with no note from anyone but with the gift of the day and a well of hope that you will get better. My prayers for you and your family echoed in my mind as I walked, as I talked and I know I was not the only one. The image of you on the hospital bed never left my mind for a second. It felt odd to be next you and not hear you crack a joke, laugh or call out my name even when I have been right next to you for more than…wait…even hours!:) 

As the hours progressed, I was made to understand that some things are beyond us and I was asked if I would like to say my goodbyes. I accepted that offer and I tried to, I honestly tried to, but even after seeing you so still and almost cold…those words could not leave my mouth. I just kept thinking why and what if? Why that accident had to happen? Why that driver didn’t stop to help you? What if all this never happened? You would still be here cracking us up! We would have watched the football game live in the stadium like we had wanted-cheer Kenya’s win. Seems like another plan was written.

My heart quickly begun to drown in despair. Fighting back tears, I looked around at the scores of people around you. The hospital was flooded with friends and family. The phones kept ringing…all for you. In all these people, I couldnt help but see a little bit of you. When they talked I could hear you, when they laughed I could hear you even when they cried I could still hear you. Your blood still runs through your son’s and daughter’s veins. And when I buried myself in your brothers’ and sister’s embrace I could feel you. It was only your body that I could not see.

I realize I will never see you again…but first things first I will go for every football game I can and cheer my lungs out for our team! You left a spark in all of us, a spark that reminds us to be full of life just like you were. A spark that reminds us to celebrate life no matter what the day brings. I will always keep that spark from and for, the man who I am blessed to have shared many unforgettable memories with. I guess death left a gift in disguise.


Thank you Amin. I know you are in a better place.

~ by Notes on June 25, 2009.

8 Responses to “A Gift In Disguise”

  1. Hugs

  2. Deep.

    Lesson learnt is live everyday like its the last and live your life such that you impact positively on all around you.

    May he rest in peace.


  3. Pole sana for your loss. Now I think understand why you have been missing from twitter. Sending prayers to you and the family of your friend. Take care.

  4. Hugs.

  5. i wanna wake up beside you…

  6. I have a very nb message to pass on to u regarding who u deal w on twitter.

  7. Sad and beautiful..sorry for your loss

  8. My first time here.. I’ll be back! Please write some more..

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